Um...I'm Telling !!!
Do you tell on yourself? It’s actually not a bad idea.
There is freedom in being transparent and honest with ourselves and others in our relationships. This one behavior has the ability to diffuse so much conflict and wasted energy in your life.
I can say with complete honesty, I use to be afraid of this myself.
For a long time, I made the assumption that my role was to keep up the image that others had of me. If I made a mistake or knew I let someone down, I would beat myself up by thinking “You should have known better! Or heaven forbid, on the rare occasion, I would garner the courage to say how I really felt, YIKES!!!
Then there were the times when I would throw my life and priorities into a tailspin by over committing to others agenda and ultimately stressing myself out. It was all so draining!
I think most of us fall into these patterns at one point or another in our lives with our kids, partners, friends or jobs.
What I’ve come to understand throughout the years is that underneath all of this was that I feared I would lose respect in the eyes of the people I care about. And, I was too attached to their opinion of me. I feared that I would lose out in some way if I were honest, open and honored my needs first.
But actually, the opposite of that is true!
Truth be told, I still don't like the times where I know I am not meeting the expectations of those I care about but, I know that's not my job to be ALL things to ALL people. I show people in multiple ways how I care for them.
It is an act of self love to be transparent, open and honest with the people in your life. This positively influences how others see you and more importantly, how you see yourself!
It's empowering to be authentically you! You are the one who gets to decide your happiness. You see, you are in charge of your thoughts, words, perceptions and behaviors. This is YOUR life! You get to decide all of this!
It's our ego that wants us believe that it's shameful to not know everything or not be able to meet others expectations, or even worse, to assume it means we are weak to admit our limitations at any point in time.
But that couldn’t be further from the truth!
You weren't meant to be all things to all people, especially, at the expense of your own feelings, time and desires. A quote came to mind that I hope will be helpful for you as well. It’s from the play Hamlet, where Polonius is giving advise to his son, Laertes.
“This above all: to thine own self be true.”
By being transparent and honest with others, you unknowingly give them permission to be authentic and transparent, as well.
Hallelujah! What a relief for everyone!
This one shift alone in your thinking and behavior will allow you to access more of your positive emotional energy for more meaningful things in your life!
Why not extend more compassion to yourself and others by being authentically YOU?
You deserve to feel good and that’s always within your control!
No need to defend yourself or waste energy judging anyone, just give it a try and see how it feels to be open, honest and transparent today. It’s okay to have limits for ourselves and boundaries for others.
Just like Mel Gibson shouted in the movie “Braveheart”. FREEEDOOM!!!
I invite you to give this gift to yourself.
I'd love to hear your thoughts and comments, please, feel free to leave it on my facebook page.
Until next time,
Be your authentic self!
Cindy Travnicek, MS, LCPC, BCC
Life Coach and Licensed Counselor